Kakarot
by LemonsOhLemons
Summary: Goku never hit his head when he was a child . . . he's exterminated all life on Earth . . . and Raditz has arrived. Rated T for blood, violence, and language.
1. Chapter 1

**Yo, what's up everyone! This is my first DBZ fanfiction . . . OR IS IT? 0_o Anyways, hope you enjoy!**

"Ugh," Kakarot groaned. "There's nothing left to kill."

He blasted a huge tree to dust and sat down on the large stump, trying to think of something to do. He'd exterminated all the inhabitants of this planet nearly three years ago. He suddenly noticed a rabbit hopping along happily. He grinned and blew it to smithereens with a ki blast. But then . . . boredom.

Suddenly, something came flying down from the sky, startling Kakarot. Was that a meteor? It crashed into the earth a few miles away from the forest Kakarot was in. He decided to go and check it out, hoping whatever it was would cure his boredom.

* * *

><p>A man with long, spiky black hair stepped out of a space pod that was within a carter on the earth's surface. He was wearing some kind of black and brown armor and an odd device on the side of his head. He had sharp features and an evil smile.<p>

The man's name was Raditz.

He clicked a button on the device and it made a few beeps, then some sort of writing or numbers appeared on the screen. "Hmm," he thought aloud. "Doesn't seem to be any life on the planet . . ."

The device beeped again. "Oh!" Raditz said, surprised. "A single power level of 960. That must be Kakarot!"

Raditz then noticed the power was quickly approaching. He crossed his arms. _Good, _he thought. _I don't have to go look for him._

* * *

><p>Kakarot flew through the forest, going toward the crash site of the meteor. But he suddenly stopped dead. What was that big power? Was someone on the planet? Well, whoever they were, they were stronger than Kakarot!<p>

But that just fueled his excitement, and he blasted off in the direction of the crash again.

* * *

><p>Raditz could see a shape approaching in the distance, and his scouter read Kakarot as being 500 meters away . . . 400 meters . . . 300 meters . . . 200 meters . . . 100 meters . . . 50 meters . . .<p>

Kakarot stopped in mid-air and lowered himself to face the stranger in front of him, who actually looked oddly familiar.

"Who are you?" Kakarot demanded.

Raditz ignored the question and asked, "Are you Kakarot?"

Kakarot was surprised that the stranger knew his name. "Yeah, that's my name," he said. "Who are you?"

"I'm Raditz," Raditz said, "your older brother."

A dawn of recognition appeared upon Kakarot's face, and he lowered his fighting stance. He grinned. "I remember you. I think I saw you right before I got sent here."

Raditz nodded. "It's good you remember," he said. "Otherwise, I might've had a problem on my hands."

"Did you come to take me back to Planet Vegeta?" Kakarot asked.

"No." Raditz shook his head. "Planet Vegeta was destroyed by an asteroid."

"Well . . . shit," Kakarot said glumly. "Did anyone else survive?"

"Two others that I know of. They're on Planet Frieza 296." Raditz paused. "Nappa and Prince Vegeta, son of King Vegeta. There may be others, but most likely not."

"Huh . . ." Kakarot trailed off. "Just a thought, but I don't know where my space pod is."

"Then go look for it," Raditz snorted. "I'm leaving in an hour, with or without you."

"Why you-!" Kakarot started, but stopped.

Instead, he flew off to where he thought he'd landed when he first came to Earth He remembered it was sort of a jungle, and it was where that stupid old man had found him. Kakarot soon found the jungle, and then the small crater with an old space pod in it. He looked inside, trying to figure out how to work it. He tried clicking a few random buttons, and suddenly, the door closed and the pod flew off.

Somehow, it seemed to know to go to Raditz's pod. Kakarot stepped out, a little nauseous.

Raditz laughed. "You better get used to travelling in that, brother," he said. "It's going to take a whole year to get to Planet Frieza 296!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi. Am I weird? I think I am. That's why I write, I think. Here's chapter 2.**

It did indeed take a whole year to get to Planet Frieza 296, much to the irritation and annoyance of Kakarot. It was boring as hell, being stuck in a tiny space pod, with only tasteless tablets to eat. The tablets were supposed to fill your stomach for a week, but he still wanted _real _food.

"Are we nearly there, Raditz?" Kakarot asked yet again through the radio in the pod.

"Actually, brother, " Raditz said, "we'll be there in about an hour."

That brightened Kakarot's mood. "What kind of food do they have there?" he asked.

"I'm sure you'll find the food fine," Raditz sighed.

They arrived soon onto a landing platform in a large city filled with space age-looking buildings. Kakarot and Raditz stepped out of their space pods, and a blue-skinned alien in a white uniform came to greet them.

"Welcome back, Raditz," the alien said quickly. He turned to Kakarot. "And this is . . . ?"

"Kakarot," Raditz said simply. "Now move aside, Barron."

"Of course!" Barron said, moving.

Raditz suddenly remembered something. "Oh, by the way, are Nappa and Vegeta in?"

"Yes, sir, they're in the training room."

"Alright." He turned to Kakarot. "Let's go."

Raditz and Kakarot walked down a series of passageways. While they were walking, Raditz said, "We need to get you fitted with some armor and a scouter. Those filthy rags won't do at all."

Raditz clicked a button on the wall, and a door slid open to reveal a room with armor hanging on the wall and scouters on a shelf. There was also another door that lead to another room. They walked in.

"Pick what you want," Raditz said briefly.

Kakarot browsed the walls, grabbing some black spandex, black armor with gold trim and boots and gloves of the same color, and a light blue scouter. He undressed and pulled on the spandex and armor, then put the scouter on his face.

"Is this how it goes?" Kakarot asked, pointing at the scouter.

Raditz nodded. "Let's go to Nappa and Vegeta."

They started walking again, to another room, but this one had a keypad. Raditz clicked a few numbers and the door slid aside, revealing a large silver-ish room with a kind of control panel at the other end of the room. There were two other Saiyans in the room, sparring. Kakarot immediately fell to the ground in a crash for some reason.

One was wearing yellow and black armor, and was bald and had a moustache. He was wearing a dark blue scouter. The other had a sharp face, spiky hair that stood right up, and was wearing long blue spandex and tan and white armor. They stopped when they noticed Kakarot and Raditz, and walked up to them, with Kakarot trying to get up but still getting dragged to the ground every time he almost made it.

"What's with him?" the bald one snorted.

"Go turn down the gravity to 1G, Nappa," the one with spiky hair said.

Nappa went to the control panel and clicked a few buttons, and Kakarot could suddenly stand. _1G?_ Kakarot wondered_ Can gravity be manipulated in here?_

Nappa hurried back over. "Is this Kakarot, Raditz?" Vegeta asked, looking him over. "I thought he'd at least be stronger than you."

Raditz ignored the comment, and started to speak but Kakarot cut him off.

"Who are you guys?" he asked.

Nappa spoke first. "I'm Nappa," he said, "and this is Vegeta. He was a prison bitch."

"Shut the hell up, Nappa," Vegeta snapped.

"I got him some armor and a scouter," Raditz pointed out.

"I can see that," Vegeta said. His expression was unreadable.

"Did you get any stronger on your trip, Raditz?" Nappa said. "I hope you're power level's over 1200, at least."

"Shut up, Nappa," Raditz said irritably.

"You wanna go at it, Saibaman?"

"Both of you, shut the hell up," Vegeta ordered. "Frieza's sending us to Boogat."

"What's that?" Kakarot said.

"A planet," Vegeta said. "We have to exterminate all life on it. That's our job. We kill everything on a planet then sell it."

"You sell planets? Sweet."


End file.
